Slumping Ortiz Will Get His Eyes Checked

Desperation is a stinky cologne. Mr. Ortiz is so desperate to find an excuse for his slump, he is going to have his eyes examined. Maybe he should have his brain examined.

If I were working in Red Sox management I would be looking for birth certificates right about now. It was rumored right before the Red Sox picked him up that he had possibly lied about it. Theo, being the genius he is, had his people run a cross check between Ortiz's career numbers with that of other players at that same age. The numbers checked out and the rest is history.

He wouldn't be the first player to lie about his age, and certainly not the last. I think before Ortiz gets eye surgery done with 20/20 vision, I would try playing him in the field for a few games, rather than just DH. I know he is god awful on defense, but I think maybe a little success in the field would carry over to his bat. Not like I want to see this guy do well, but just a thought.