Thursday, April 30, 2009
Cincinnati's Superhero
Are you kidding me??! Shadow Hare!? I think I could take down this Shadow Hare character with one arm tied behind my back. He's sure to strike fear in the hearts of Cincinnati's criminals.
Thursday Guarantees!
Caps Getting Ready For Pens
Let's hope that's Theodore in net and not Varlamov, because there are about 20 pucks in the net behind him.
Thanks to Grandall for the photo.
Melanie Collins > Erin Andrews
Obama Playing P-I-G
Here's President Obama dominating the Lady Huskies "Greatest Team Ever" in a game of PIG. This once again proves that girls are not athletes and cannot play basketball.
Under Armour Recall on Athletic Cups
Hazard: The cups can break if hit, posing a risk of serious injury hazard to athletes.
Incidents/Injuries: Under Armour has received five reports of cups breaking, including an injury involving cuts and bruising. - US Newswire
Click-clack, when you hear them coming, if you have an Under Armour cup on you better cover the family jewels unless you want "cuts and bruising". Come on Under Armour!! Your better than this and you know the incidents they have had with these cups have probably occurred at none other than the University of Maryland, to our own collegiate athletes.
Under Armour, you do a great job in just about every other area of the sporting world, but leave the cups to someone who specializes in making them, instead of trying to come up with the "Under Armour We Must Protect These Balls!" super cup that ends up leaving our Maryland athletes unable to bang random b*tches at Bentley's Filling Station and produce future generations of top Terrapin athletes. Now I don't know the 5 incidents that have occurred have happened to Maryland Terps, but I will stamp the Flapjack guarantee on it.
- Thanks to Putz for the tip.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tupac Really Is Alive!?
Flapjack also posted hearing about Tupac at a Celtics game a few weeks back.
Flapjacks Afternoon Junk Pile
Wednesday Guarantees
White Guy NBA Rap
This guy is pretty entertaining for the most part, so I won't give him too hard of a time.
DA and chrisumd23 took over Flapjack duties yesterday while I was gone. In case you couldn't tell, they did a piss-poor job of it too. They would get a 4.2 on the NHS for their miserable efforts.
Bull in Grocery Store
I don't know where the hell this video took place, but where ever it is, they apparently have random bulls roaming the streets. How about the guy who puts the shopping cart in it's path, thinking that's going to stop a bull. Nice job, buddy.
Denver Nuggets Cheerleaders
In honor of the Denver Nuggets leading their series against the Hornets 3-1 and being the only team I can bet on and win in these playoffs.
I can't tell if I really like this girl or just really like her t*ts bouncing up and down in slow motion. Either way, she gets a 4.47
Caps Win Game 7
Mike Green serving Caps only penatly
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Follow Up to D-Unit's Post - Phelps is a God
Give this f*cking guy a break! I don't think a lot of people realize what he had to go through to do what he did at the Olympics. In most Olympic sports, such as swimming, your success as an athlete is based on your performance once every four years!!!!!!! In baseball, basketball, football, hockey, whatever, people have bad games, people have bad seasons, in swimming its not like that. If Phelps had a "bad game" at Olympic Trials, 8 Gold medals would have been over before it started because our Olympic Trials is a faster meet than the Olympics from top to bottom.
He trained 4 years for what he accomplished and then he wanted to celebrate. He took a few B rips, and the fact he did it at a party with random people was stupid, but maybe we should be looking for the f*cking rat scumbag who turned him in. So what if he likes drinking shots and he can afford to drink straight out of a Grey Goose bottle at the club. Thats what ballers do. Last time I checked D-Unit wasn't giving any of his ladies an IQ test before he hooked up with them, especially a chick that looks like this. Maybe D is just in favor of same sex marriages? Somebody has got to stick up for Phelps, and I volunteer for the role.
Hughes Looks to Get Yankees Back on Track
I think Phil can be good, and he has shown that he has the talent, he just needs to be more consistent if he wants to make it in the majors, especially with the Yankees. There is no way in hell we are losing this game, and Edwin Jackson is pitching for the Tigers, and he is pretty terrible. Expect a one-sided high scoring game, with the Yanks coming out on top. I'm not the Flapjack, but I guarantee it.
Why?? This girl makes the same face in every picture
If you know this freak please, I beg, tell her to stop making that face or it will get stuck. My bad, it already is.
Michael Phelps + Carrie Prejean = Dumb & Dumber
Monday, April 27, 2009
Jayson Williams Tasered
Talk about a sad story, this guy was once drafted 21st overall by the Suns and played 9 years in the NBA before suffering a career ending injury. He was listed at 6-10, 245 pounds on his ESPN player profile and the article now is up to 325, still 6-10 I assume. His wife filed for divorce and he still has legal issues looming with regards to the shooting of his driver in 2002.
Get this sh*t : Officers with the Emergency Services Unit, an elite team trained to deal with emotionally disturbed people, responded and stunned Williams with a Taser after he resisted attempts to be hospitalized. - AP
They make it sound like you need a Master's degree to serve in this "Emergency Services Unit". If they are so 'elitely trained' why the hell did the officers have to Taser the f*ck out him. I think everyone is getting a little to happy with the stun guns in the police unit. Its like none of them have used it and want to see if it really works. News flash, it works.
Yankees Lose 4th Straight
It was too little too late for the New York Yankees in Detroit tonight, dropping their 4th straight to the Tigers 4-2. The Yankees offense was non-existent againt Justin Verlander, who scatterred 7 hits over 7 innings, giving up no runs and recording 9 strikeouts.
CC Sabathia pitched pretty well, 8 innings, only 99 pitches, with 7 strikeouts. However, the big blow came in the 6th inning where CC gave up a 2 run shot to Maglio Ordonez. Besides that though he was pretty lights out and anyone "concerned" about CC can eat a d*ck. He spared me from watching the bullpen come in for 6 innings and give up 20 runs, so thats was a positive in my book. I'm pretty heated that we lost though, they need to get into a fight or something to get their asses in gear because this is unacceptable.
Big Crash at Talladega
Pretty exciting crash, I guess. Although, not exciting enough to make me care about Nascar.
MMA Amputee
If I was in the stands watching this fight in person, I would have climbed into the cage myself and kicked the sh*t out of the dude in the red shorts. How can you step into the ring against a guy with no arms or legs and not win the match in 30 seconds? Just lie on top of him and it's over. Why is he dancing around the ring trying to slap him in the face? Just jump on top of him and it's over. Worst case scenario is you dive for him and miss. Oh well....what the hell is a guy with no arms or legs going to do to you?! If the guy in the red got paid for this debacle, it's a f**king joke.
Flapjacks Afternoon Junk Pile
The Big Flapjack dancing. LMFAO!!
ALL THE HOES JOCKIN from don cannon on Vimeo.
Big Flapjack as a true friend this is how you really look when we are at Clarendon Ballroom.LMFAO. FYI... Catch The Big Flapjack in the Arlington, VA area this Saturday!
Monday Guarantees
Yankees are Terrible
Here's the highlight from the Red Sox win last night. Pettitte, who supposedly has the best pick off move in the majors just had home plate stolen on him. The Yankees now drop to .500 at 9-9 and 4 games back of Toronto. There's still a long way to go this season, but there's never a good time to get swept by your division rivals.
You gotta love Francona's smirk after Ellsbury scores, while Girardi is in the other dugout sh*tting his pants, knowing it's only a matter of time before he gets fired.
Chiefs Draft #256 aka Mr. Irrelevant
The Chiefs picked up South Carolina kicker Ryan Succop (pronounced suck-up) with the 256th pick in the draft. This isn't all that bad for this guy. First off, you got drafted, who the hell cares it was in the 7th round and you were picked 256th. Second you get honored in Newport Beach, CA with a trophy and ceremony. Sounds good to me.
The Chiefs don't play a playoff team until week 12, don't count them out of the mix to go from worst to first. Don't be suprised if Succop kicks the game-winner to send the Chiefs to the playoffs. You heard it here first.
Terps Land 4 Star Recruit From Montrose Christian
Gary lands another 4 star recruit for 2010. Ross is 6-5, 190 pounds and ranks in the 10-20 range for shooting guards, depending on the site. Things are looking up for the Terps now with Ross and Stoglin, regardless of whether they land Stepenson or not.
Ovechkin's Nasty Game 5 Goal
Here is the Alex Ovechkin's sick goal during the Caps game 5 win vs. the Rangers. Ovechkin basically weaves through the entire Rangers D and backhands it in as he's falling down.
Game 7 tomorrow night at Verizon Center!
Hockey Player Breaks Finger
This dude's finger is f**ked up! I'm sure he just popped it back in place and kept on playing. Hockey players are probably a little tougher than me.